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Wank for God

It started, as many modern religions, with a quest for answers and an intervention by The Almighty.
   For a long time the founder, Morris Greenfold, was on his own with his beliefs. After some years later disciples, or the flock, or followers, or whatever you with to call them eventually came.
   As with most new fundamental religions, splinter sects sprang up twisting the ideology. But to the true believers there was only one way to heaven, pray through masturbation. Wanking as direct communication with our Heavenly Father.

One sunny, Sunday afternoon the congregation were outside after an uplifting service.
   The men were bragging about techniques that let them come closer to God or multiple communications in the case of the womenfolk.
   A mother in a new hat caught her ten-year-old son asking his friend, “what's the difference between a wank and an egg?”
   Clipping him round the ears she scolded, “don't blaspheme Matthew!”
   His older brother, Jacob, who had overseen the incident, stepped in to deflect the attention because he loved his little brother. He knew his brother knew no better, “what confuses me, mother, is how our religion can last, continue, if is only based on masturbation? I mean, what about procreation?”
   His mother was initially taken aback by Jacob's questioning thoughts but eventually replied, “Have faith, Jacob. Have faith.”

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